so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
