I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
