i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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