My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
