this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize