Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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