Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
