I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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