office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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