In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
