p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Boobs speak an international language.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
