The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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