he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
