At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
