i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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