He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
