Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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