he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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