I have demons in me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
