ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
