did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize