Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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