Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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