i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
