We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
