I cockslap morals
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
