Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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