And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
