I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
