I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you would pick up someone in the library
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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