hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
