how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
