return my video game
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
