Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
