So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
