So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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