Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
