grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Welp...herpes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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