The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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