Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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