I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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