Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize