How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
