This house was built for laser tag.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
