that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
