Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
