Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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