Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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