HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
