omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i think i just lost a toe
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
