Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
