Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
