I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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