Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
