I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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