why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
