I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We're too hungover to prance.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize