we should wear snuggies to the strip club
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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