she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
