I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
