something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
