doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were trust falling into bushes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
