try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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