Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
