Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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