just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
