He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
