Are we in a gay sports bar?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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