did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
