you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
